I am sure we all come across a photo, or fifteen, from our childhood that we wish we could just burn. I, personally, have an entire shoe box that spans the three decades of my life that could easily go missing. There was a period in my youth when I tried every stupid fashion trend imaginable; a period where my eyebrows resembled the Nike Swoosh upside-down; and a period where I gained the infamous Freshman 15 (more like 25, but who's counting) and still thought my old clothes fit well.
I would gladly take a gallon of gas and a match to all of those memories, but instead of throwing them up to the heavens in a cloud of cringe-worthy ash, I figure I could share one or two of these with you.
Any female who grew up in the 90s knows the pain of overplucking, both literally and figuratively. I personally cannot believe I didn't go to school everyday with a red forehead given the amount of daily plucking I put myself through. The ends just could never be thin enough and the middle, never too round. Why, oh why, didn't my mother confiscate my tweezers? Highschool was a tough time for me, I was insecure about a lot of things... braces... frizzy curly hair... short... more muscular than many of my female classmates. I sound beautiful. The only thing I wasn't insecure about was my eyebrows. I thought I had perfected those arches and really upgraded the shape of my face. Whoa baby was I delusional! Not only did I completely rid myself of an arch, I also shaped them in such a way that my face appeared MORE round than it is in actuality. Had anyone told me the that thick, natural brows of the 80s would make a comeback, I would have embraced the beauty that were my bushy, dark au naturales.
It wasn't until my Sophomore year in college (that's 7 years of misguided grooming) when I began working at a receptionist in an organic spa that I was told to do something about it. The owner of the spa was very kind with her words. I think she said something along the lines of, "You are very pretty but you have sperms on your forehead." She then asked me to do the most brutal thing one woman could ever ask another woman to do... grow out your eyebrows for 6 weeks and DO NOT TOUCH A SINGLE HAIR. Thankfully she fixed me. It is a rare day I go for the tweezers now. I wish they would grow back to the same glory I had pre-horror, but I will take what I have now.
Moral of the story here, folks, preserve what the good lord gave you for as long as you can! And thank your lucky stars Facebook and smart phones didn't exist when we were teenagers.
Thankfully this recipe has nothing to do with my eyebrows. The Apricot Mustard is a tangy, sweet, and slightly spicy addition to any charcuterie and cheese board. It pairs up nicely with a salty, spicy salumi or pepperoni. The fresh mustard seeds add a nice pop and texture to the plate. Highly recommend this to anyone, even the mustard haters (like I once was). Also, makes a great dipping sauce for a soft pretzel... just saying.
The Recipe: Apricot Mustard
The Bits and Bobs:
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup water
1 cup diced dried apricots
2 tbsp sugar
1 shallot, minced
1 garlic clove, minced
2 tbsp whole grain mustard
1 tbsp dijon mustard
Combine ACV, water, apricots, sugar, shallot, and garlic in a saucepan. Over medium high heat bring mixture to a boil, then reduce heat and leave at a simmer.
Continue to simmer, stirring occasionally, until apricots are soft and the liquid has reduced to a light syrup (roughly 15 minutes).
Remove from heat and stir in both mustards and the salt. Scoop into a jar or other tightly lidded container. Allow to cool completely before serving. If too thick after cools, stir in a tablespoon or so of water until you reach the desired serving consistency.
Best used within 5 days.